Got no face now.
Got no name now.
— Boogie
I had a plan. It required a partner and a hot tub, but I couldn't get the hot tub delivered until I had a place to put it, so... I bought a house.
I bought Steve's house.
More specifically, I bought Steve's house from Steve's parents, using the money I stole from Steve. Shhhhh.
Apparently, they were having trouble selling it due to a horrific homicide which took place in the foyer. The mess was there for quite a while before anybody found it. Possibly months.
His parents were particularly pleased when an out-of-town buyer was willing to skip inspections and not even tour the place. "It's so much easier this way," they said. And I agreed.
The house was west of Gary, near Purdue University's northwest campus. Technically, in Hammond. There's a technical school nearby too. Lots of tech-savvy young people meant lots of marks. Best of all, it was right by the Illinois border, putting me even closer to Chicago.
The house itself was a typical suburban starter home. Two bed, one bath, a kitchen that hadn't been updated since the seventies, blah blah. It was fine.
I'm guessing the neighbors knew Steve was sketchy, because the homes on both sides next-door had tall fences. That was nice though. It added some privacy.
The house also had a garage and a partially finished basement with a laundry room and a room Steve converted into an office. It's where I found his safe back in 2019. The door at the bottom of the stairs even had a big chunky lock with a deadbolt. The door to his office had a lock too. Security matters, right?
The plan was to put a hot tub in the garage, and use the basement office as a workshop.
To make sure Amberclaire was extra-motivated to do her part, I told her she could move into the second bedroom. Giving her a free place to stay meant she'd need me.
The sale on the house went through on January 26th. Signed, sealed, and paid in full. Steve's house was officially mine.
The keys were in my hand, though not for the first time.
In an attempt to avoid dwelling on that, foolish enthusiasm got the better of me. I told Amberclaire to meet me at the house, but she arrived first. When I pulled into the driveway and saw her standing there, I immediately remembered what we were walking into. On the other side of the front door was where Steve got Steved.
Oh God.
"So, this is the place?" Claire said.
"Yup. Y'know, I'm glad you're a whiskey drinker. The last owner of this house was into wine. Red wine really stains."
We were standing outside the front door while I pretended to be excitedly fumbling with the keys. I was worried about what we'd find inside. Steve's Steveness had surely been cleaned up, but how well?
I felt like I needed to say something, so...
"I hear the last owner had an accident. No, no. Some bottles of wine. Yeah. He dropped 'em in the foyer. Big mess. Already know I'm gonna need a rug until I can get the floor refinished, or replaced, or... whatever you do with floors."
"You stand on 'em, Shay."
Or seep into them.
"Gonna need a rug," I said. Gonna need a rug. Gonna need a biiiiig muhfuggin' rug.
Claire said, "A rug? Yeah, sure. A rug will make the place feel personal."
And cover up the stain of a person.
"And cover up a what?" she asked.
Jesus, did I say that out loud?
"Stain, from a pinot!" I said, though his name was actually Steve Pimlough. "A whole case of pinot noir! Man, that got dropped."
In a desperate attempt to shut the fuck up, I put the key in the lock and turned the knob.
The door opened.
My jaw dropped.
"Uh oh."
"Something wrong, Shay?"
Oh, hell. Stains and a smell. "Oh, whoa. Oh, wow. Oh, it's bad. Gonna need a rug. ASAP, wow. Did I already say wow? More wow. But that's why the house was cheap."
"The house was cheap because they broke some bottles of wine?" Amberclaire said, as she nudged me to step inside.
"Huh? Oh, no. It was cheap because the previous owner was pretty much gone, like, instantly, but his stuff was around for a while before anybody found it. Kinda all over the place. Y'know, like how sometimes a mess gets left behind? I don't know. No, no."
Must. Stop. Talking.
When Boogie told me how Steve was dealt with, I played it cool, like it was no big thing. "Nono took care of Steve? With a meat mower, you say? Right on. That's how it's done." And, honestly, I was fine with it until Boogie said, "Ain't no mo' Steve. Got no face now. Got no name now."
And me? I got a new home now.
"The previous owner was gone?" Amberclaire asked.
"He passed away. Not in the house."
Yes, in the house. All over the house. Especially the foyer.
I said, "The people who inherited the place don't live around here, so they accepted a low offer. I got a good deal."
"I don't know, girl. It doesn't smell like wine. What is that?"
I was glad she didn't know.
For the record, I started calling her Amberclaire because she was using both names intermittently, and combining them the other way was... not good.
Please don't make me say it.
Oh, come on.
Okay, fine.
Clamber.