We both know you're not Claire.
— Hell No
Clarity wasn't exactly thrilled with her new name. She was even less thrilled when I took her to a bookstore to figure out what her new persona was interested in.
She said, "No fuckin' romance novels."
"Yeah, too cliché."
"True crime?"
"CLAIRE!"
"What?"
"We are true crime."
"Fuck this. Where are the memoirs? Let other people be interesting. Like marks are gonna care what I'm interested in."
Clearly, Claire was cranky.
When we got back home, I tried to cheer her up with a pep talk, but I may have had too much pep in my talk. I was still on a Doozy Donut sugar high.
I said, "I got something for ya."
"Oh?"
"Something small."
I pulled a quarter out of my pocket and flipped it in the air. Then I caught it and handed it to her. It was a Vermont quarter, from the series of commemorative state quarters the government made a while back.
It wasn't valuable. It wasn't about that.
It was about the words.
"Wow," she said. "Look at the big spender over here. You got me a quarter, Shay?"
"Read the back."
"It says, 'Vermont, 1791.'"
"Not that. Keep reading."
"It says, 'Freedom and Unity.'"
"That's right, Claire. Freedom and Unity. Me and you. A few years ago, a guy told me money is a trap. I said, 'You better have kickass health insurance, 'cause I'll kick your ass if you say that again.' Rich people love to act like having it all is a hardship or a burden. What a crock of shit. Poverty is a trap. Money means freedom. Gimme that quarter. Lemme show you something."
As she handed it back, I said, "Watch."
I reached for the quarter with my left hand and pretended to switch it to my right hand, but I dropped it back into my left. Then I swung my arms and slapped my fists together, right over left, with a bullshit exaggerated gesture. I opened my right hand to show her the quarter and handed it back to her.
She said, "What the hell was that?"
"It's a magic trick."
"Girl, that's the shittiest trick I've ever seen."
"Is it? Look again."
"I mean, it's... oh. It's a different quarter now. You switched 'em?"
"Yeah. I had two coins. Read the back of that one."
"It says, 'New Hampshire. Live Free or Die.'"
"Goddamn right. That's a special quarter, Claire. I got it from my sorta-uncle when I was a kid. He taught me a bunch of magic tricks. The original version of that one is called the French Drop, but I put my own spin on it. Hey, when you're six, it's cool. Anyway, he gave that quarter to me, and I'm giving it to you. Money means freedom."
"So, live free or die?"
"Hell yeah. The two of us are like two sides of a coin. I'm the darkness. You're the light. Every guy thinks he's looking for the light of his life, right? That's you. That's how you get 'em."
"If you think I'm the light, you don't know me, Shay."
"It's not about what I know. It's about what a mark sees. That's why you're elegant, remember? In this scheme, you're the girl and I'm a ghost. But for a mark, you're the light. One look at you and his eyes are gonna light right up."
"Okay, ghostie."
"You've gotta admit, this is all starting to take shape. Let's get a bottle of something good to celebrate. Maker's Mark, maybe. Or Jameson? What kind of booze does Clarity Rae Jenkins like?"
"Clarity Rae. Fuckin' A. It sounds like I'm a hick."
"Make her whatever you want her to be. C'mon, let's be honest. We both know you're not Claire. But who are you, really? Do you even know? If you think you do, you're wrong. You know who you were. Let that shit go. The past is just a lie. It's gone. It's dead. Live free or die."
"Live free or die. It does sound kinda badass."
"Y'know how people talk about fate, like it's already decided? That's bullshit. You're the one who decides. I know where I found you, but that's where you were, not what you are. This is your chance to be something else, or somebody else. It's up to you to do it. Find Clarity. She is whoever and whatever you want her to be. Make the name real. And make the new you real. That's what this whole thing is about."
"And the money," she said, rolling her eyes.
"And what it means. You and me? We're gonna be rich. But it's not about the money. It's about what the money means. Too many people spend their entire lives struggling just to get by. Poverty is a trap. Money means freedom. Live Free or Die."
"That's a pretty good speech, Shay. Sounds like you practiced it."
"Hell no, I didn't practice it."
Hell yes, I did.
"It's a good speech, Claire, because I believe it."
There was a time when I had to convince myself. That's why I know how to convince somebody else. Did she really think I gave her my dead uncle's quarter? Please. I got that thing at Doozy Donuts. I had to wipe off powdered sugar when I pulled it out of my pocket. Sentiment sells, and that mushy detail only cost me twenty-five cents.
"I'm serious," I said. "Money means freedom. Live Free or Die."
Editor's Note:
The 50 State Quarters Program was launched by the U.S. Mint in 1999 and ran through 2008. The New Hampshire Quarter, minted in 2000, features an image of the Old Man of the Mountain and the phrase "Live Free or Die."
"Live Free or Die; Death is Not the Worst of Evils" originates from a toast written by General John Stark in 1809.
"Live Free or Die" became the official motto of New Hampshire in 1945.