No one here gets out alive.
— Jim Morrison
(and everybody else)
I liked checking in with Claire after a job. It's easier to get a better perspective when you can bounce ideas off somebody.
"Hey, Claire!"
"Shay, how ya' doin'?"
"Oh, not bad."
"Where are ya'?"
"I'm in Texas. I can't wait to get out of here."
"Oh?"
"I spent the hottest part of the afternoon in a parking lot. The AC in my van crapped out, and a couple of my guys may have been rounded up by the cops."
"A couple?"
"I think four."
"How many guys did you have?"
"I had four."
"Oh, Shay."
"I'm not worried about it. It wasn't my van, and those clowns thought I was some guy named Wolf."
"Ohhh kaaay. Wow. So... how's the weather?"
"Way too hot for a trench coat. New subject. What's new with you?"
"I'm learning to cook. My grocery lists are real groceries these days."
"You really are going straight, eh?"
"Not quite. Not yet. I'm still working on my long term plan."
"Which is?"
"Life. Living a happy, boring, safe life."
"Can I still talk through ideas with you though?"
"Absolutely!"
"Good! I'm thinking about getting out of the valet parking thing. My next move might be to start up a legit dating service. I'm thinking about calling it BABIO."
"Babio?"
"Berry Anonymous, By Invitation Only."
"Oh, lord."
"The dating service would be real, and free, but I'd use the sign up list to hunt high quality marks. And I could do valet parking schemes on the side. I'm still working on how to get women into the dating service, but it'd be for tech-bros with money, so I shouldn't have a problem finding gold diggers to go flockin' after 'em. Hell, I'll hire call girls if I have to."
"There's the Shay I know and love."
"Aww, thanks. Anyway, it's an idea I'm working on. What about you? Got anything good in the works?"
"Oh, not really. My garden is coming along. I'm thinking about planting some flowers to make it pretty next year. Maybe some lilacs."
"You're really settling in there, huh?"
"Playing the long game, Shay."
"What does that really mean though?"
"Life is the real long game. So, you have to ask yourself, 'What am I doing this for? What do I really want? What kind of life do I want to live?'"
"I don't think about that stuff."
"Maybe you should. You know the old saying, nobody makes it out alive. I guess that makes life the only game that matters."
"Maybe I'll think about it, once I've got enough."
"How much is enough though?"
"I don't know. Is there ever enough?"
"Enough is when your heart is full."
"Wow, Claire. That's..."
"Deep?"
"Yeah."
I was gonna say lame.
"Shay, there is something I wanted to talk to you about."
"What's that?"
"Would it bother you if I got a job at The Shady Lady Exchange? I know you used to work there. They seem cool. I figure, two days a week there, two nights at The Bitter End. It adds up."
"That's fine, but don't mention me. They don't know me as Shay, OK? That's sort of where the name comes from."
"Yeah, I figured. You never told me how you started working there. Or come to think of it, how you started any of this."
"It's a long story."
"I've got time."
"Really?"
"Pour yourself a drink or two. I'm about to throw a pie in the oven. It's gonna take an hour, plus another hour to cool before I can put it in the fridge. So yeah, I've got plenty of time. Tell me the story."
I told her about the day I handed Linda a pie, and why the shock of seeing a young-ish woman in a grandma house scared me so bad. How it made me worry I'd end up like her if I stayed in that small town.
She told me about planting a seed. Killing a weed. Tilling soil, sowing something...
I told her about sending a burglar down the stairs at The Boxtan Inn, and how that got me my first connections.
She told me something about Ralph Walter Emerson? A quote, I think? "To be great is to be misunderstood." It was so great to hear her voice.
I told her how the fear of having nothing and being nothing was what got me started going down this path.
This road.
Sometimes, I wish it had been a train track.
Claire once said, "Trains are on rails, Shay. They can't get lost."
I don't think I'm lost, but I don't know where I'm going.
She said, "It's time to bring this train into the station, Shay."
Maybe she was right.
About that.
And the Life thing, too.
Maybe ten million dollars could be the point where the money is enough. Maybe that should be the endgame.