Aloha!
This is Claire.
Looks like you missed me.
Catch you later.
— Beeep
"Claire, your outgoing message is stupid. I tried calling a bunch of times. Keeps going to voicemail. I'm hanging up and calling back. Pick up."
...?
"Not kidding around here, Claire. I really need to talk. Pick up."
...??
"Are you screening your calls? Could use some advice, and there are no code words for this conversation. Can't text it. Pick up."
...!?!
"It's code-red time. Redder than red. There's been an incident, Claire. Things got hot. Pick up."
...!??
"God. Dammit. Pick. The. Fuck. Uuuuup."
...!!?
"CLAAAIRE!!!"
...!?
"Aloha? Ellooo? Yoo-hoo! Come on. Pick up."
...?
"Please don't make me say it on voicemail."
...?!?
"Oh goddammit! Need to talk! I'm in L.A. Worked with Jojo, Nono's brother. Told you 'bout him. Probably shouldn'a. Job went bad. Marks came home. Basement. Gun. Bleach. Jojo? Dead. Mark? Dead. Others? Dead. House? Dead. Maybe some firefighters too. Lotsa extra crispy, original recipe, no receipt. Call me back."
...?!!!!
"C L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L L A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A I I I I I I I R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R R E E E ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !"
...?!!!?
"Delete this shit. All of it. Every message. Or you're next."
...!!!?
"That was a joke."
...?!
"Mostly."
...?
"Smoke 'em if you got 'em?"
...!!!
"Fuck your voicemail, Claire."