No, really. Bring sauce.
— Not A Cook
I hired Abbie to create two Bitcoin events per month.
I'd like to say, I gave her creative freedom to create her own events, but the truth is, I did not care. I just needed her to round up marks without knowing she was part of a scam.
But, holy hell, she took the ball and ran with it.
When I flew back to Gary to oversee her first event, she handed me a flyer that said:
BLOCK PARTY!
A decentralized dating network, by Bitcoiners, for Bitcoiners. Connect with women who respect your worldview. Meetups & minglers. No pressure. Just fun!
"I've been pitching it two ways," Abbie said. "For guys, it's a way to meet women who like guys in tech. For women, it's a way to meet guys with money. Y'know. Husband material, but I don't say it like that."
I was floored.
"Abbie, I love this!"
"I knew you would!" she said. "I'm an influencer! Influencing is, like, my whole thing!"
Her first Block Party was held that night at a bar called The Sly. She got a solid turnout. Maybe fifteen guys.
Beanie vouched for Owen and Yaz, so I hired them to run the valet parking part of my scheme. Whenever they parked a car, they wrote down the mark's license plate and gave me his keys so I could make copies. I rented a van to use as a mobile workshop.
Everything was going great, but I panicked when I saw Owen logging cars on a map.
"Owen!!! Is you taking notes on a criminal fucking conspiracy?"
"What?!?"
"You never saw The Wire? The TV show on HBO? Does Stringer Bell ring a bell? You can't be documenting a scam!"
"Shay, you're running valet parking without a parking lot. The cars have to go somewhere, and we're gonna need to find 'em when the owners come back, right? I've already got cars in six lots. We've gotta keep track."
"What the fuck? Are you scattering them?"
As the words came out of my mouth I felt like an idiot. Of course he was scattering them.
"You don't want a pattern, Shay. I'd keep track in my head, but Yaz needs to know where they are too. Don't worry. I'll shred the map when we're done."
"You'll burn it."
"I'll eat the damn thing if that makes you happy. No, really. Bring sauce."