Time is money.
— Violence
I worked with Claire for a year, but the longer we were together, the further we drifted apart. She got pissed when I mentioned a mark who wasn't part of our thing. Even before I told her about Doug, she knew I had something else going on.
"He's a really bad guy," I said.
"But what are you trying to take from him?"
"His sanity!" I lied.
She thought our whole thing was just me and her. She was furious when she found out we were part of a money laundering scheme. I admit, that knowledge came due to an error on my part.
We were at home, with the TV on in the background because we'd been fighting, and I couldn't stand the silence. Claire gets quiet when she's pissed. I needed background noise to drown out the thoughts in my head.
A story came on the news about a guy from Foke's crew getting busted. She didn't know about Foke and had no idea who the guy was. She just scoffed at the things other people do for money, as if she was any better.
"Hell yeah," she said, when the news reporter showed video of a guy in cuffs. "They should round up all the drug dealers. Get 'em all!"
I said, "Where do you think our cash comes from?"
"You sell Bitcoin."
"Yeah. To Foke."
"Who's Foke?"
"Oh, fuck."
We didn't speak for days after I explain all of that. And she practically shit a brick when she saw Beanie drop off an envelope in our mailbox.
She screamed, "GOD DAMN GIRL, You're giving them our address now???"
"OUR address? It's my house, bitch! And she's the new ME!"
"The new YOU?"
"Yeah, Claire! I hired her to go into marks' homes, so I don't have to. It keeps me insulated. And soon, I gotta hire a new YOU!!!"
That was our breaking point.
Claire thought we were friends. And we were, I guess. But I always knew she'd leave. That was the plan from the start. One year, or the other thing, which I never should have said.
Claire and I didn't fight often, but when we did, it was bad. Our styles were too different. I fight to blow off steam. If she fights, it's because she means it. After a fight, I feel good. It's like an orgasm. Release!!! Ahhhhh. After a fight, she keeps boiling, like a live lobster in a pot. Even if I let her win, it's never over.
But the fight we had when she saw Beanie at our mailbox? That marked the end of our year together. January 24th, 2022. Did you know, January 24th is National Compliment Day? It's a thing. I remember the date because Claire told me I was evil. I said, "Coming from you, that's a compliment!"
She moved out of the house the next day.
As a parting gift, I gave her a duffel bag with a hundred grand in cash.
"C'mon, Shay. Do right by me," she said. "Where's the rest?"
It felt like one hell of an accusation.
"Claire, I gave you a place to live. I gave you new clothes. I bought you stuff. I fed you. I got you a car and gave you lots of cash along the way. I gave you everything. Our deal was, your half comes after expenses. Those are expenses. All of this shit got expensive."
She was pissed, but she didn't say a word. I expected another fight, but she just snatched the duffel bag and stormed out.
I thought about replacing her with a new girl. I even tried a few times, but none of 'em had the smarts to pull it off.
The hot tub scheme worked because Claire could talk a guy into asking her out. If he thought the date was his idea, he wouldn't realize it was a setup. That's how it's done.
Claire made it look easy. Dez, my partner before Claire... I'm not saying she was good at it, but she made it look easy. Maybe I was wrong to think it was easy.
After Claire, I did a trial run with a girl named Scarlet. She called herself Scar. In hindsight, that should have been a clue she wasn't right for the job.
I found her a mark. She got him in the hot tub, putting it mildly. She fucked him in the hot tub, and she made him pay her. But the worst part is, she got him naked by the hot tub, in the garage instead of in the house. That meant I didn't have access to his pants, which meant I couldn't copy his keys and ID.
I had Beanie follow him so she could lift his keys. We still got his Bitcoin, but that's not the point, and it's not how the job was supposed to be done.
Another girl I tried working with, I think her name was Eve? She was never around when I'd find a mark. Fool me once, fuck you. Fool me twice? You're out.
And then there was Violet. She was violent. We did a trial run. When she realized the mark was a bust, she beat the shit out of him for wasting her time.
I tried explaining it again. "Subtlety, Vie. Subtlety. They're not supposed to know it's a setup."
"Fuck subtlety," she said. "Time is money."
Her attitude was wrong, but her words were true. Time is money.
It was time for my hot tub scheme to come to an end, because it took too much time, and there was too much money to be made.
Fuck subtlety.