What, now you're robbing me?
— Not A Victim
I caught my first shoplifter at The Shady Lady Exchange a few months after I started working there. I had a good feel for the customers, which made it easy to tell when something seemed fishy.
It was the kind of early spring day where the sun seems like it's shining extra bright.
A girl came in. Red hair, freckles. I recognized her because she was wearing a dress we'd sold her a few days before. She asked to see an emerald ring in the display case. I remembered showing it to her last time, too.
The ring itself was simple. It had a plain gold band with a green jewel, but being simple made the jewel stand out more. It wasn't a real emerald though, but it looked real, so we priced it higher than a fake, as if to say we thought it might be real.
Freckles thought it was real.
She came back later, to see it again. Something seemed off, so I came out from behind the glass case when I handed it to her, to make sure I was standing between her and the door.
She reached for it with both hands and cradled it in her right hand, as if it was precious. The ring was only out of my sight for a fraction of a second before she held it up to the light, to make it sparkle. Then she handed it back with her right hand as she put her left hand in her pocket, and...
...Wait. What?
Oh, fuck that!
She turned to walk away, but I swung my foot out and tripped her, sending her crashing face-down on the floor.
WHAM!
I sat on her back and said, "Now give me the real one, bitch."
"I don't know what you're talking about," she lied. "Get off me!"
"You brought a phony ring and tried to swap it for our emerald."
"I did NOT!"
"I'm gonna start counting. Give me back the real one before I get to three."
"Or what?"
"Or very bad stuff happens."
I took a fistful of her hair and pulled it hard enough to lift her head off the floor as I said, "One."
She pulled her left hand out of her pocket when I reached two, and uncurled her fingers, revealing our emerald ring. I grabbed it and climbed off of her.
"Holy fuck," I said, as I inspected both rings. "You just tried to pull a French Drop with a swap. I swear to God, if you ever try to rob The Shady Lady again, I'll kick your ass. But I gotta say, I respect your skills."
"Yeah well, fuck you," she said. "Gimme back the other ring."
"Oh, hell no. You just tried to rob us. You're not getting that back. It's trash anyway."
"What, now you're robbing me?"
"That's exactly what I'm doing, in exchange for not beating you senseless or calling the cops. Now get out."
I spent the rest of the afternoon thinking about what she'd done. What do you even call that trick? The Double Drop? It's not a Dupe-Drop, since the dupe is the one she didn't drop. I'm calling it the French Swap. And I'm stealing it.
Sneaky bitch tried to pull that? On my watch?
Don't think so!
Still, I have to admit, it was new to me, and it almost worked.