The past is just a lie.
That is its intention.
— Lester, Misremembered
Final Editor's Notes:
The original publication of Five Dollar Wrench: The True Confession Of A Bitcoin Thief arrived at a single bookstore in Gary, Indiana, on April 29th, 2025. Only three copies of the novel were sold before it was recalled. All three were sold to a single customer, who paid in cash.
The name of the store is not being published, as per the store owner's request.
The customer's identity is unknown.
Duquan Fokari, better known as Foke, died on April 29th, 2025.
His last words were, "No! NO!"
Sharon Smith, better known as Drops and Beanie, died on April 29th, 2025.
Her last words were, "No! NO!"
Jonatha Dandelion "Dandy" Bowman, also known as Hellen Tobe, Phoebe Delgado, Shayna Dempsey, and other aliases, was released from prison on the morning of May 2nd, 2025. She died later that day.
Her last words were, "No! NO!"
The identity of Nono remains unknown.
His whereabouts are unknown.
The manager of The Boxtan Inn resigned on April 29th, 2025.
The identity of the manager is known but not being published, as per his request. When asked if he resented being referred to as "the manager" rather than by name in Hellen's novel, he replied, "I don't give a mother fuck. I hate all those people. Every goddamn one of 'em, except for Nono. Nono is a kind man, and you better fucking print that."
He requested that his whereabouts remain unpublished, for obvious reasons.
Only one of the men targeted as a potential mark was willing to confirm his identity. Here, he was given the name Terry Ellis. He insisted that his real name remain unpublished. A request which was honored, for personal reasons.
The whereabouts of the other lifters are unknown. Their names have been changed, for legal reasons.
Abigail Porterfield continues to reside in Gary, Indiana. She is currently unemployed, for reasons.
Chapter 12 of Five Dollar Wrench does not appear in the first edition, as it addresses events following the novel's original publication.
Chapter 12 was submitted by the same individual who provided the original manuscript. Because Chapter 12 addresses the death of Dandy Bowman, and includes details which could not have been known to Dandy Bowman, it is clear she was not the author of the novel. We regret explicitly stating she was, in the original publication.
The real identity of Hellen Eleanore Tobe, author of Five Dollar Wrench, remains unknown.
Hellen's whereabouts are unknown.
The real identity of Clarity Anne Jenkins remains unknown.
Claire's whereabouts are unknown.