He was the ultimate bagel.
— Not A Baker
"It's weird not spending so much time together," Claire said.
"I know, right?"
We were sitting on the floor, in my workshop, trying to make sense of the mess in my file cabinet.
"Why in the fuck did you just shove everything in The Meat Knower, Shay? It's a file cabinet. Why didn't you file anything? And why's it all in baggies?"
"I don't know. It seemed like a good idea at the time."
"It wasn't. Sorry."
"Fuck you. Pour me another drink. And one for you too. C'mon, Claire. You're at least one behind!"
She was right. Last night, she saw me plop two baggies with pictures and keys in the same drawer, but one was a mark and the other was a bagel. She said, if I was gonna be doing this long term, I needed a system. I cringed, so she offered to help.
I thought I had a system. Each baggie had keys, with pictures of the mark's driver's license and Bitcoin seed words. It may have made sense when we only had a few marks. I could remember who's who by looking at a picture. But by this point we had... I don't know. Sixty? Seventy? Had to be more since there were duds too, and they were all lumped in one drawer. What a mess.
"And why didn't you keep a list, for future reference? What if you ever want to look up an old job? Y'know, like, how did a guy become a mark and what did you get from him?"
"Jesus Christ, Claire, are you reading my mind? I was just looking at this one, thinking, 'Why wasn't Terry a mark?'"
"Oh, he was nice. A little sad though. I think he was going through a divorce or something. He didn't have Bitcoin, but one of his students did."
"Oh, yeah. Right."
Despite our differences, Claire and I made a good team. We'd been together ten months, and they'd flown by so fast. Our original deal was to do this for a year. I knew she wouldn't stick around longer than that, and she knew I'd keep going.
I already had Beanie as the new me, going into the homes. Soon, I'd need a new Claire, to reel in marks.
Claire and I had different goals. Different intentions.
I was on a mission. She was just looking for a fresh start.
To be honest, I was still figuring out what my mission was.
Deep in the pit of my stomach, I've always had a feeling of doubt. Not self-doubt. More like an acknowledgement of the doubts of the world being thrown at me, from all sides. "Oh, she's a girl. Oh, she's poor. Oh, she's nothing." Oh, fuck you.
Wanting more wasn't about what I needed. It was about what I needed to prove, even if only to myself, to prove the world wrong, even if the world never knew.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Shay. What are you doing?"
"I'm filing Jayden."
"You're putting him in the Yes drawer. He's a no. Jay was the bagel who sold a hundred Bitcoin back in 2016 to buy a truck, which he wrecked."
"Oh, right. He's a whoa no."
"More like an oof."
We really did make a good team. I'm great at coming up with plans, but Claire is better at the details. She's the reason I started saving this stuff. I was going to do a job and then toss everything. Why save it? She told me to play the long game. She said, "If they don't realize how they got got, they'll probably start again. And they'll double-down on their online security without realizing that wasn't how they were vulnerable, so they'll be easy to get again." That was brilliant. I already got one of these guys twice. Dumbass started sending Bitcoin to the same wallet I robbed. Wow.
"Barry Fillmore? Get in the bagel drawer."
"Bagel bagel bagel. God damn, Shay. Even his name sounds like a bagel."
"How do parents not know? Somebody needs to tell 'em, WITH A NAME LIKE THAT, YOU'LL BE RAISING A BAGEL!"
"His name's not why he's a bagel though."
"I know. But it didn't help."
Barry had a gambling problem, and he needed help, which is an odd thing for me to say, since I tried to rob him. When he was on a 'date' with Claire, his credit card got declined. We should have bageled him there and then, but you never know, so we took a shot anyway.
"Shay, what the fuck!? Andre's in here? I thought he was just a test run, for me."
"He was a test run for me, too."
"Oh."
Oh, come on. The same way some guys will try to fuck anything that moves, I'll try to rob any guy who doesn't. Surely Claire knows that by now.
"You hit his house didn't you."
"CLAIRE!!!"
Then we both burst out laughing, because of course I did.
"Did you find anything good?"
"You're drinkin' it!!!"
I'd been saving this bottle for a while, but it didn't belong to Andre. We were drinking Doug's whiskey. I know, stealing from a mark goes against my Leave No Trace motto, but Doug's an exception. He's not a mark.
"This isn't Andre's hooch," Claire said. "He'd drink trash. Fess up. Whose is it."
"I stole it from another bagel. He was the ultimate bagel. Before you and I met."
"You've been hanging on to this for a while then."
"More like, I needed the right time to let it go."
"And this is the right time, because...?"
"Well, one reason is, I'm gonna return the bottle, filled with something else."
"Please say dyed water."
"Antifreeze."
"Shay, that's not OK. I mean, I know we're no saints, but that's..."
"What if he's cold?"
"SHAY!!!"
"Relax, Claire. I'm kidding. You know my sense of humor is dark."
"Sorry. It's just... that's the kinda thing you shouldn't even joke about."
"No worries."
"Alright."
"Hey, I need to use the little girl's room. Be right back."
I also needed to rethink the antifreeze.
I also needed to hide the antifreeze.