Damaged people damage people.
It's how the world works.
— Not A Worker
It was 3am by the time I left Doug's house, with his keys in my hand. After going home to make a copy, I was back at his place before sunrise to return the originals. When I opened the front door, I could hear him snoring. It was easy to slip in and out, unnoticed.
With my confidence renewed, I headed back to Noah Greer's house to search for his Bitcoin seed words. I had plenty of time since he was out of town, so I made coffee. There were already coffee grounds in the trash. Adding more wouldn't be a clue that anyone had been in his home.
I searched the house from top to bottom, but I couldn't find his Bitcoin seed words.
I did find four QR codes. One was for the password to his wifi. Thanks for that, bro. The other three were weird sets of numbers, like this, but much longer:
1913153208630502044513421...
"The fuck?!"
I also found a child's crayon drawing, stuck to the fridge with a huge magnet that said "Daddy."
"Double fuck. He has kids!?" How did I miss that?
I went through his calendar and old facebook posts again. His wife left him and moved to Denver, to be closer to her family. He wasn't there for a family reunion. He was visiting his kids. To make matters worse, his ex-wife got remarried. Noah's kids had a new happy family that he wasn't part of. Brutal.
And here I was, in his shitty house, to steal his Bitcoin.
Winners win, losers lose, and thieves thieve. It's how the world works.
Look, I never said I was perfect. I know I'm damaged. Damaged people damage people. But I decided to pass on doing further harm to this loser. At least for now.
I rinsed out the coffee mug and took pictures of the QR codes, just in case they were something important. And I left.
I wasn't going to rob him right away, anyway.
Noah Greer seemed like a massive waste of time, but I was wrong.
I learned something new.
After I got home and took a long nap, I started googling to see if I could figure out what the QR codes were for.
Turns out, they were sets of Bitcoin seed words converted to numbers. By using a device called a SeedSigner, I could convert the numbers back into words and load the wallet. I found three sets of seed words which meant I found a multi-signature wallet. Think of it like a safe that requires multiple keys.
I had to go back to Noah Greer's place again while he was out of town, to find his SeedSigner. I played with that thing for a while before I learned how to rebuild his wallet.
This is gonna sound complicated, but it's not: Seed words are like a key for a Bitcoin wallet. SeedSigner uses QR codes to load seed words. Instead of typing 'em, you scan the QR code. Easy peasy.
To rebuild a multisig wallet, you need multiple keys. Multiple keys means stronger security, except this idiot stored his keys together, which meant a single point of failure. And worse, he labelled the QR codes 1, 2 and 3 of 3... so I knew how many I needed and what order they needed to be in.
Thanks again, bro.
And thank you, YouTube, for info and tutorials.
Once I restored his wallet, I saw that he'd been depositing Bitcoin into it twice a month for years, so it made more sense to let him keep adding to it while I debated whether or not it was okay to rob him.
Editor's Note:
SeedSigner is a small do-it-yourself Bitcoin hardware wallet, built from a Raspberry Pi Zero, a camera, and an LCD display. It uses QR codes to communicate with Bitcoin apps on a computer or phone.
Also, to be clear: It was not okay to rob him.