Find your own Clarity.
— An Epiphany
"I've got good news and bad news."
Claire wanted the bad news first. Fair enough.
"My guy wasn't able to get you a fake ID with Clarissa, so..."
I handed Claire her new fake ID.
"Hang on. My name is CLARITY?"
"You're now Clarity Anne Jenkins. For what we're doing. It's just a name, and it still works for Claire."
"Fine. It's just a name for the marks. I'm Claire. What's the good news?"
"I got something for ya. Something small."
I pulled a quarter out of my pocket and flipped it in the air. Then I caught it and handed it to her. It was a Vermont quarter, from the series of commemorative state quarters.
It wasn't valuable. It wasn't about that.
It was about the words.
"Wow, look at the big spender over here. You got me a fucking quarter, Shay?"
"Read the back."
"It says Vermont, 1791."
"Not that. Keep reading."
"It says... Freedom and Unity."
"Freedom and Unity. You and me, Claire. I met a guy a while back who said money is a trap. I was, like, fuuuck you man. I told him he better have enough money for new teeth 'cause I'd break his if he ever said that again. Rich people love to act like money is a hardship or a burden. What a crock of shit. Money means freedom. Gimme the quarter back. Lemme show you something."
I made sure she was looking when I put the Vermont quarter in my right hand. Then I swung my arms and slapped my fists together, one over the other, with a bullshit exaggerated gesture.
I opened my hand to show her the quarter, and I handed it back to her.
"How is that a trick?" she asked.
"Look at the back."
"It's... oh. It's a New Hampshire quarter now. You switched 'em?"
"That's the trick. Read the back."
"Live Free or Die."
"You're goddamn right. That's a special quarter, Claire. I got it from my sorta uncle when I was a kid. He taught me a bunch of magic tricks. That one is called The French Drop. Hey, when you're six, it's a cool trick. Anyway, he gave that quarter to me, and now I'm giving it to you. Money means freedom."
"Live Free or Die."
"Hell yeah. You and me? We're like two sides of a coin. I'm the darkness. You're the light. Every guy thinks he's looking for the light of his life, right? Well, you're the light, at least for a night."
"If you think I'm the light, you don't know me, Shay."
"It's not about what I know. It's about the mark. That's why you're now elegant, remember? In this scheme, you're the light, and I'm darker than darkness itself. I'm a ghost."
"OK, Darkness. You said you had good news and bad news, but you only gave me the bad. I'm Clarity now. Fine. What's the good news?"
"Oh, yeah! The hot tub's getting delivered this afternoon! We're getting a bottle of something good, to celebrate. Maker's Mark, maybe. Or Jameson? We're gonna give our hot tub switcheroo thing a trial run tonight. It'll be fun."
I wanted to get to know the house. The hot tub was going in the garage. How much from the garage could I hear from inside the house? Would I be able to hear Claire and the mark, talking? Could any sounds from my basement workshop be heard in the house? Or the garage? Making copies of keys isn't loud, but still. Gotta check.
"I bought a hot tub with those air jet things."
Claire rolled her eyes.
"It's for noise. Just so the guy you're with won't hear me, wherever I'm at in the house. Just in case. We're gonna get a stereo for the garage too. What kind of music does Clarity Jenkins like?"
"Clarity Jenkins. Sounds like I'm a fucking ditz."
"Make her whatever you want her to be. I mean, we both know you're not Clarity, but a name's just a name, right? Let's be honest here. WHO are you, really? Do you even know? I'm not asking you to tell me, because whatever you say will be wrong. You'd be telling me who you were. The past is for people that are trapped there. Live Free or Die, Claire."
"Live Free or Die. It does sound kinda badass."
"Listen, because this is important, ok? There's no such thing as Destiny. The only thing you're destined to become is what you decide to be. So what do you want to be? I know where I found you, but that's what you were, not what you are. Do you wanna be somebody else? Do it. Find Clarity. She is whatever and whoever you want her to be. Make the name real. Make the new you real. That's what this whole thing is about."
"And the money," she said, rolling her eyes again.
"And that. Yeah, I wanna be rich. You and me? We're gonna be rich. But it's not about the money. It's about how the money means having enough to start over in life. It means having enough to do it right. Money means freedom. Live Free or Die."
"That's a pretty good speech, Shay. Sounds like you practiced it."
"Hell no, I didn't practice it..."
Hell yes, I did.
"It's a good speech because I believe it."
There was a time when I had to convince myself. That's why I know how to convince somebody else.
"I'm serious," I said. "Money means freedom. Live Free or Die."
Editor's Note:
The 50 State Quarters Program was launched by the U.S. Mint in 1999 and ran through 2008. The New Hampshire Quarter, minted in 2000, features the Old Man of the Mountain and the phrase "Live Free or Die."
"Live Free or Die; Death is Not the Worst of Evils" originates from a toast written by General John Stark in 1809. "Live Free or Die" became the official motto of New Hampshire in 1945.